Dear Government, police, MI5 etc,

We the good gullible people appeal to you for some help here. We’re trying really hard to do our duty and believe whatever it is we were supposed to believe about what happened at US Fairford yesterday.

We’re really happy and relieved that the police caught all five of the ten or twelve white men that woman saw and that we’re all safe and sound and that the explosives weren’t explosive but we’re worried that we’re worrying about the wrong things — for example, Donald Trump announced that he knew ages ago that this terror attack was coming, so when the police told us it wasn’t one, does that mean Trump’s one is still coming? Is that what you’d like us to worry about?

We’d be most grateful if you’d put out a good, clear instruction as to what we should be worrying because, try as we might, we can’t figure it out.

Yours faithfully,

The good, gullible watchers of your news (there aren’t many of us left, you know!)

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Kay

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