Never let a bully win

Never let a bully win

I was told when I signed up as a Labour Party officer that I should ‘never let a bully win’. I looked at the situation in the Party and agreed that it was true. The evidence was manifold. We lefties inherited an organisation that was impossible to steer because it had, for several decades, been in the hands of people who bludgeon their way to where they want to be. Behaviours, protocols and the rulebook (my god, the rule book!) were designed to give those in charge the means, overt and covert, to prevent any undesirable democracy taking the party where its back room bullies didn’t want it to go.

We lost the Labour Party. Could we possibly have won? Could we have done any better than Harold Wilson, who did his very best to stand for fair play and the interests of ordinary people? He was eventually dragged off course by some of the biggest bullies in the land – the banks.

Those bullies have held power, and designed a system that suits bullies for a long, long time, so perhaps Wilson’s failure, and Corbyn’s, were inevitable. That’s why I’m not in the Labour Party  any more. Sometimes, an organisation is so rotten the only way to stop the bullies is to reject their whole structure and start again.

Schools

Have our schools reached this point?  The problem of bullying is often at the forefront of school policies, and of debates amongst staff. Surely, schools are the place where those vital lessons about not letting bullies win should be laid down for each new generation. Last week, a story of bullies broke through into the national conversation and, whilst many are (rightly) praising the whistleblower who broke the story, the story was there to tell because all the students and all the staff in that school had let the bullies win.

Click here to read the story on Transgender Trend’s blog

Cults

Probably, facing a pack of furious cult-followers is one of the most frightening tasks of one who believes you should never let a bully win. Personally, so far, I have mainly frightened myself by writing blogs against the cult but I have walked head held high through one or two baying mobs in real life during this particular anti-bullying campaign (yes, there is no doubt, the women’s sex-based rights movement is an anti-bullying campaign).

So (I repeat) every student and every member of staff in that school failed the anti-bullying test last week. (If this is you, not to worry – our first encounter with bullies is normally a failure. Recognising that failure is the first lesson in anti-bully training). I do not for one moment believe that there was no-one in that school who knew they were facing a mad cult whose only weapon against heretics is the one cults have always used – bullying. I do not for one moment believe that there were only a few people in that school who knew they were facing bullies, even if they hadn’t worked out it was a mad cult. Most people with an average or better brain and a halfway decent education, when they actually look at what the gender-identity-ideology cultists are saying, will recognise that it is nonsense.

Cult belief starts the same way fashion trends start. People don’t really suddenly decide one kind of shoe is better than all the other kinds – what they do is see ‘cool’ people suddenly wearing this new kind of shoe. They feel the desire to be ‘with’ those kind of people. They start training themselves to love those shoes (because you have to be quite mature to work out that ‘cool’ in the world of trends, fashions and cults, means ‘helpless herd follower’). After a bit, they convince themselves. Yearning for those shoes comes naturally, and other kinds of shoes just look stupid. That’s how fashion flares start. But its rare for people to shout, scream, fight, plot, plan and manipulate to force all those around them to sign up to fashionable shoes. Cults though, do precisely that. I accept it takes a bit of courage to stand in front of a baying mob of teenagers and say ‘shut up and clear off. You’re behaving like maniacs’. It takes a bit of courage – but someone in that school should have found that courage.

The emperor’s new clothes

We were all taught that story when we were kids. It tells us two things: the first is that people do do that cult thing sometimes – it seems expedient, or polite, or kind – but most often it just seems easier and safer to go along with the daft idea. The second is that sooner or later someone has to have the guts to argue. In the story, it is an innocent – a child who hasn’t been swept up yet – maybe he was autistic – to tell the truth.

Courageous people work in schools, and on newspapers, and in government. Surely they are there. Surely its high time they called out the naked emperors of the gender-ideology cult. Perhaps the courageous ones made a mistake, and have been staying silent ‘for the sake of trans kids’. They should have seen, at that school last week, that that was a bad decision. You should never let a bully win.

There were no ‘trans kids’ before this cult got a grip on our schools and our kids’ internet and entertainment – but there were transsexuals. They have existed for decades, and they managed to exist without the gender-ideology cult so, once we’ve thoroughly called it out, and sanity has washed back in, those kids who have been ‘transed’, or who have socially ‘transed’ themselves, will still be able to get help and support. They do not need to spend the rest of their lives in a world where we have all given up and let the bullies win.

If you don’t believe me, take it from a transsexual   – or has the cult already convinced you Debbie Hayton is a heretic who should not be listened to? Here’s Debbie’s take on what happened in that school.

Click here to read Debbie Hayton‘s response in the Spectator

Individuals who get bullied like that girl was shamefully bullied in that school (she is still being bullied by certain well-known and well-protected people on Twitter) need help and support every bit as much as those transed kids do.

Never let a bully win

To revert to my fashion-shoe analogy, can you remember how, even at the height of the fire-storm enthusiasm for those shoes, you have those moments where you notice, somewhere at the back of your mind, that other kinds of shoes are possible and that actually, these shoes hurt your feet? It’s important to remember that, in case we start going down a cult-driven road to foot-binding, the better to fit girls into those shoes. That seed of truth at the back of your mind might just save lives one day, if you nurture it.

It’s easier if you have the time and the opportunity to raise a crowd of support around you before you challenge the bullies. That’s what Corbyn was doing when he led the Labour Party. He was constantly out campaigning, drawing in more people – and he needed them, but he didn’t get enough, soon enough to save the Labour party. He’s still doing that work outside the party though, and so are the people working within their unions or community or campaign groups to stop the bully-billionaires but sometimes, it’s just you. It’s you who’s ‘on the spot’ when the bullies start to get a grip. It’s you, or no-one, who’s going to stand up and say ‘enough’. This remains true even if you think what the bullies are saying is true. Even if you think what I just said about ‘transed kids’ is stupid nonsense, the truth does not need to be driven home by a mob. It simply needs calmly and repeatedly saying. I repeat, never let a bully win.

 If you’re lucky, when you stand up and say ‘enough’ to the bullies, a few onlookers will stand up and join you. Sometimes, it takes quite a few goes before anyone dare help. Yes, it makes your heart rate go up – even if you’re just in a zoom or a room, being the only one to say ‘enough’. Even if you’re just hitting ‘publish’ on yet another blog post, it makes your heart rate go up – you’re thinking will someone sue me/sack me/shout at me – but it gets easier, and it’s far easier than being one of those people who miserably, quietly, gets on with their admin work, pretending to be busily occupied, knowing that somewhere nearby, a lone teenager is trying to stand against a mob, or yet another woman is losing her job, or her political role, or her place in the community, or a police officer is watching a mob vandalize a community centre, or assault female protestors.

Never let a bully win. Letting bullies rule leads to worse suffering in the long run, and if you miss your chance to stop them, you’ll be feeling like a rotten failure for all the time it takes to work itself out without your help.

********************

Dear Reader,

Times are hard, and so the articles on this site are freely available but if you are able to support my work by making a donation, I am very grateful.

Click here to donate

Cheers,

Kay

********************

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: